P said to me yesterday that i’m angry, and that is what makes me a feminist.

I glared at her, but then I realized she had a point.

I am angry, and I am a feminist — but it is not my anger that makes me a feminist, instead it drives my feminism. When I am angry about something it moves me to react, to write, to talk about it.  I admit most of my posts comes from a place of hurt, anger and frustration.

Those emotions bring you today’s post on femme.

I’m really tired of people using 1940’s femme stereotypes to understand and explain femme. I came across an article a few weeks ago that tried to explain the “femme phenomenon” and painted us a submissive, stereotypically feminine, and using butch women for as a replacement for the men we are really attracted to (how original).

Writing like this is the fuel for my feminism. It drives me to respond, critic and challenge. In this way I think this type of work is almost necessary. A lot of femme autobiographical or auto ethnographic work I have read and loved has come from a place of hurt, and anger. Its the kind of work that pushes you to move, to act. I’m thinking of work along the lines of Hadassah Hill’s Femme Fuck Revolution. Hill starts off with a call to arms inviting femmes to get all riled up and ready to act.

“I want a revolution to start now, with the femmes, and with all the people who loves femmes, and with all the people who have yet to realize that they love femmes. Because I am tired of femmes getting the short end of the dick.”

Hill’s work is powerful, it’s raw and its angry. This is kind of work that makes a difference, and that builds solidarity.

“I say it’s time for a femme fuck revolution. It’s time for femmes to consistently have the status, make outs, and hot dates we deserve without any unwanted assumption. A great place to start is by giving respect to each other. “

We need femme solidarity. We build solidarity and friendship on the ground of our shared experiences. I met a great femme this week, we went from strangers to friends in ten minutes over a cup of coffee and shared stories of femme discrimination. (Strangely they were both about being dismissed as non lesbian at the same lesbian sex positive event).

I hate to admit it, but I think that we need to be angry about our experiences in order to work together, in order to mobilize and in order to create amazing femme positive work.

I like my anger, i’m keeping it.